I've been reading this book, "The Mission of Motherhood", and it's really caused me to see motherhood in a new light. Yes, some of the concepts in the book aren't new, but some are just great reminders for me to keep going, don't give up. Sometimes the daily, repetitive work of being a mother is hard. We get up and do the same things over and over, yet that is what is good for the child. I don't know about you, but my kids thrive on order and sameness. They love that we do pretty much the same routine every day with little bits of excitement here and there. I try to spice it up a bit. For example, if we have visitors, I tell them they're "suprise visitors". They enjoy guessing who will come and it's always more fun that way. :)
But, what is all this for anyway? Are we just supposed to make our children our central focus, pour everything in them and then turn to mush when they leave? I hope not! While my kiddos are small and in their formative years, I want to be with them to direct and guide them, teach them, and pour into their hearts and souls. But, as they grow, I hope they learn that Lance and I are focused on giving to and loving others as well. Right now, I feel like they're my main ministry. My focus is to pour into them. But, gradually, it will change, as they change and grow and need us less.
It's been so hard lately, with Sophie coming along. I find myself wishing time away, to finally see her. But, at the same time, I don't want their time to go away. I've got to live in the present. And, boy, is that hard for me! I need this time with them. Tonight, my middle child, Jacob and I spent the evening together on a little date. We went looking for something to create, (since he likes building and getting his hands on things), then had to make a quick stop for icecream and let Mommy listen to some Jacob stories. I sat there in Chic-fil-A, just soaking this little 3 year old up. I could be sad so easily at the thought of this little man growing up, but I choose to have a different perspective. I'm going to live with the excitement of what God has in store for him. Each year is another year that I get to know him better and tell him about God. I fail a lot, but thankfully it is God who is working through me and helping Jacob to know Him.
I've been thinking a lot about how it's been almost 7 years since Lance and I made the decision for me to stop teaching full time and stay home with our newborn son, Luke. I remember how hard I had worked on my classroom and how I loved the school that I taught at. It was sad to pack up, but I've been so blessed by it. I've been on this wonderful journey with these kiddos, 4 of them almost now! There have been some hard days. There have been days that I've longed for adult conversation or to just get away for a little while. But, then I feel the peace of God that lead me here and it's a great feeling. Our pastor has been leading us through a series about the Holy Spirit and some of what I've taken away is that the spirit isn't some force, it's a person that actually leads you. I can see, looking back how the spirit has lead me.
This all goes back to the mission of motherhood that God has called me to. Maybe my story doesn't look like yours. Not everyone will look the same. Not everyone is able to have children or be home with their children like they would like to. But, we can all know that God is able to complete His purposes regardless of our circumstances. He has a specific purpose for each of us. We can be used to glorify Him no matter what. I hope you are encouraged today. I hope you know how much God wants to use you to bring Himself glory. Thank goodness we don't have to come to Him as perfect moms, perfect women. He is able, He is always able.
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